Parenting a toddler can feel like navigating a storm. One minute, the waters are calm, and the next, you're caught in the whirlwind of a tantrum.
All of us have at least once witnessed this scene: a baby throwing a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store, screaming at the top of their lungs, while their parents struggle to manage the chaos. The tension escalates as they argue, unsure of how to calm their child and themselves.
These moments, while overwhelming, are not just chaotic episodes—they are opportunities to strengthen your bond with your child and support their emotional development. The tantrum phase, often beginning around 18 months and peaking between ages 2 and 3, is a challenging yet critical time for bonding with your child. While tantrums can be overwhelming, they also offer opportunities to strengthen your relationship and help your child develop emotionally.
Also read: https://www.souloxy.com/post/love-empathy-and-tradition-parenting-for-the-modern-indian-family
Now let's understand what tantrums are, how to manage your children’s tantrums, and why do they happen?
What is a Tantrum and Why Does it Occur?
Tantrums are a universal toddler experience. They might involve yelling, kicking, or even lying on the floor in protest. Some toddlers might hold their breath, break things, or attempt to hurt themselves or others. However, tantrums are a normal part of childhood development, often stemming from a toddler's limited ability to express emotions or cope with frustration.
According to Erik Erikson’s Psychosocial Development Theory, toddlers are navigating the “Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt” stage. They crave independence but lack the skills to fully meet their goals, leading to frustration and emotional outbursts.
Strategies to Strengthen the Parent-Child Bond during the Tantrum Phase:
Here’s how to deal with tantrums in 2-year-olds and how you can strengthen the bond with your toddler during this phase:
1. Stay Calm and Regulate Your Emotions
Your toddler looks to you for cues on handling emotions. During a tantrum, take deep breaths and remain composed. This models emotional regulation and reassures your child that you are a safe presence.
For example: If your child is screaming because they want a toy, pause before reacting. Take a deep breath and say, “I can hear that you're frustrated and really want that toy. Before we decide what to do, let’s take a moment to breathe together and then we’ll talk about how we can make it fair.”
2. Acknowledge Their Feelings
Recognize and validate your toddler's emotions rather than dismissing or minimizing them. Saying things like, "I see you're upset" or "It's okay to feel frustrated" demonstrates that you're actively listening and empathizing with them, rather than focusing solely on expressing your own perspective.
For Example: If your toddler cries because they can’t have candy, you might say, “I know you feel sad because you want candy and I also know it’s hard to wait, but we can have a treat after dinner.”
3. Set Clear and Consistent Boundaries
While showing empathy, it’s also essential to maintain boundaries. This balance ensures your child feels understood and supported while learning the importance of limits and structure. Consistency also helps your child feel secure, knowing what to expect from you.
For Example: When your child refuses to share toys, say “I can see you're really enjoying that toy, and it's tough to let go. Let's take turns so everyone gets a chance to play. Now it’s your friend's turn, but you’ll get it back soon.”
4. Offer Choices:
Offering your toddler choices promotes a sense of autonomy and can help reduce tantrum triggers. When toddlers are given options, it empowers them to make decisions, which fosters a sense of control and independence. This can lead to them feeling more confident and less frustrated, as they know they have some agency in their actions.
For Example: If your toddler resists eating vegetables, ask, “Do you want carrots or broccoli today?” Giving them control over the choice makes them more likely to cooperate.
5. Use Play to Connect
Play is a powerful tool for bonding and helping your toddler process emotions. Activities like building blocks, role-playing, or storytelling allow your child to express themselves and connect with you. Consistent, positive interactions during play strengthen the parent-child bond, build trust, and support emotional development.
For Example: If your toddler is upset after daycare, you can connect with them by saying, “I see you’re feeling upset. Let’s use these puppets to show what happened. This one feels sad because it missed its parents. What about you? Can you tell me why you're feeling like this?”
By following these steps, you guide your child through their emotions with empathy and create an opportunity to bond during a challenging moment.
To Conclude,
Children’s tantrums are a natural part of toddlerhood, but they don’t have to strain your bond. Every tantrum can be a chance to teach, connect, and grow alongside your toddler. By staying calm, validating emotions, and setting boundaries, you can turn these challenging moments into opportunities for connection. Remember, the tantrum phase is temporary, but the bond you build during this time lasts a lifetime.
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