The journey of pregnancy and childbirth can be an overwhelming and transformative experience for any woman. However, the emotional and psychological toll of this period is often underestimated. Perinatal mental health—encompassing mental health issues during pregnancy and the first year after birth—can affect both mothers and fathers, yet it remains one of the most overlooked aspects of childbirth in many cultures, including India.
While a new baby brings joy, it also brings challenges. The support system that surrounds a new mother, especially her partner and family, plays a crucial role in her mental well-being. In this blog, we explore the profound influence that partners and family can have on perinatal mental health, and how they can be active participants in promoting emotional well-being during this time.
Understanding Perinatal Mental Health: Why It Matters
Perinatal mental health refers to the mental health of individuals during pregnancy and in the first year following childbirth. It includes conditions like postpartum depression, anxiety, and less commonly, perinatal psychosis. These mental health challenges are more prevalent than most people realize, affecting one in five women globally, and the impact can extend to fathers too. In the Indian context, social stigma and lack of awareness make it even more difficult for new parents to seek help.
Mothers are particularly vulnerable during this period due to the physical and hormonal changes they experience, combined with the stress of adjusting to new responsibilities. However, fathers, too, can experience anxiety, depression, and stress, often feeling isolated in their role, especially if they are unsure how to support their partner.
1. The Partner’s Role: Being a Pillar of Support
The role of a partner—whether it’s a husband, wife, or other significant other—is often the most significant in a new mother’s mental health. In many traditional Indian families, the focus tends to be on the mother and child, while the father’s emotional needs can be neglected. However, when both partners are actively engaged, the chances of overcoming mental health challenges increase significantly.
Example: Take the case of Radhika and her husband, Arjun. After the birth of their daughter, Radhika struggled with severe postpartum depression. Arjun, who had been educated about perinatal mental health, took a proactive role by not only helping her with household chores but also encouraging her to talk about her feelings. He accompanied her to the doctor and participated in the therapy sessions as a supportive partner.
How Partners Can Help:
Empathy & Active Listening: Rather than dismissing emotional concerns, listen without judgment. Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and validate their struggles. Simple phrases like, “I’m here for you” or “I understand this is difficult” can go a long way.
Sharing Responsibilities: Taking on parenting tasks, whether it’s changing diapers or getting up in the middle of the night for feeds, reduces the overwhelming burden on the mother and promotes a sense of teamwork.
Encouraging Professional Help: Encourage your partner to speak to a doctor or mental health professional if needed. Your support in seeking help can be a game-changer.
Building a Non-Judgmental Environment: Avoid putting pressure on your partner to “bounce back” or be “perfect.” Understand that mental health struggles are real and require patience and understanding.
2. The Role of Extended Family: Redefining Support Systems
In India, extended family plays a pivotal role during the perinatal period. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, and even siblings often share the responsibility of caring for the new baby, sometimes stepping in to ease the burden on the new mother. While this is traditionally seen as a positive, supportive gesture, it can also create stress if boundaries aren’t respected or if the emotional well-being of the mother is overlooked.
Example: Aditi’s mother-in-law was eager to help with the newborn after Aditi gave birth. However, her constant suggestions about how to raise the baby, while well-meaning, led to Aditi feeling overwhelmed and unsupported. It wasn’t until Aditi’s husband spoke up and helped set clear boundaries about how much assistance was needed that Aditi started to feel more at ease.
How Family Can Help:
Respecting Boundaries: Family members, especially those from older generations, often have strong opinions about childcare. It’s essential for the partner to communicate to family members when their advice, though well-intentioned, feels overwhelming.
Providing Physical Support: Whether it’s running errands, cooking meals, or helping with chores, physical support can relieve stress and give the mother a chance to rest or focus on self-care.
Checking in Emotionally: Family members, particularly parents and siblings, should check in emotionally as well. Ask questions like, “How are you really feeling?” or “Is there anything we can do to help?” Rather than assuming everything is fine, a more open-ended approach encourages honest conversation.
Creating a Safe Space for the Father: Mental health struggles aren’t exclusive to mothers. Fathers often experience anxiety, stress, and feelings of inadequacy. Creating an environment where both parents feel supported is key. Acknowledge the father’s emotional needs as well, and ensure they aren’t isolated in their own challenges.
3. Building a Team Approach to Mental Health
The perinatal period is a time when the entire family should come together to form a strong support system. Open conversations about mental health—within families and with professional healthcare providers—are essential in breaking the stigma surrounding perinatal struggles. For instance, families can be educated on how mental health issues like postpartum depression aren’t a sign of weakness but a medical condition that requires attention.
Example: In a case from a Mumbai-based couple, Simran and Sameer, both parents were open about the emotional challenges they faced after their baby’s birth. They attended therapy together, read books on perinatal mental health, and actively supported each other. Sameer would often remind Simran to prioritize self-care, while Simran would encourage Sameer to talk about his anxieties and fears. By working together, they navigated the ups and downs of parenthood without feeling alone.
How Families Can Help:
Normalize Mental Health Conversations: Encourage open dialogue within the family about mental health. The more normalized it becomes, the easier it will be to address issues early on.
Involve Both Partners in Doctor Visits: Encourage both partners to attend prenatal and postnatal doctor visits. This not only helps partners understand the mother’s physical and emotional health but also ensures they are both equipped to handle the changes.
Fostering Patience: Whether it's the new mom or dad, patience is key. The postpartum period is challenging for both, and understanding that this phase will pass can help families weather the storm together.
4. Cultural Sensitivity in Mental Health Care
In India, the topic of mental health often comes with stigma. Many families may still be uncomfortable acknowledging mental health concerns, especially for new mothers, due to societal expectations of motherhood. However, change is on the horizon, with more healthcare providers and mental health experts advocating for a culturally sensitive approach to perinatal care.
Example: An Indian health clinic in Delhi has begun offering mental health counseling as part of its prenatal care package, emphasizing that mental health is as important as physical health. Mothers, fathers, and even extended family members are encouraged to attend these sessions, which focus on addressing cultural perceptions of mental health and providing emotional support.
How Family Can Help:
Encourage Seeking Help: Family members can play a crucial role in encouraging their loved ones to seek help without fear of judgment. As mental health awareness grows, it’s important for families to support those who need professional help, whether through counseling or medication.
Educate on Mental Health: Families can educate themselves about common perinatal mental health issues. This knowledge can create an environment where the mother or father feels comfortable expressing their struggles and seeking help.
Conclusion: A Unified Approach to Perinatal Mental Health
In the perinatal period, both partners and extended family members play a critical role in ensuring the mental health and emotional well-being of the new mother and father. A unified, understanding, and patient approach is key to navigating the challenges that come with this phase. By fostering open communication, setting healthy boundaries, and encouraging professional support, families can create an environment where both parents feel supported and empowered.
Mental health is as important as physical health, and the family is the first line of defense. By collectively addressing the emotional needs of both the mother and father, families can help ensure a healthier, happier transition into parenthood.
Comments