Growing Up, Growing Apart.

THE FRIENDSHIPS THAT SHAPE US, AND SOMETIMES, SHAKE US

Some of my strongest memories from school and college are not of classrooms or exams.

They're of people.

The friends I sat beside during lectures. The ones I shared lunch with. The people who knew my inside jokes, my favorite songs, my favorite movies, my secrets and still somehow always knew when something was wrong, even when I insisted that I was "fine."

For a long time, I believed that friendships were supposed to be simple.

You meet people.

You become close.

And they stay.

But somewhere between growing up and growing apart, I realized that friendships, like every other relationship in our lives, can be beautiful, complicated, comforting, and sometimes, unexpectedly painful.

I still remember how deeply friendships seemed to matter during those years.

A small disagreement could ruin an entire day.

Feeling left out from a plan could make you question your place in the group.

Seeing pictures online and realizing everyone met without you somehow hurt more than you wanted to admit.

And perhaps the hardest part was that no one really talked about it.

Heartbreak from romantic relationships seemed understandable.

Stress from exams seemed acceptable.

But friendship heartbreak?

That felt like something we were expected to simply "get over."

Yet, some of the tears I shed during high school and college had nothing to do with grades or careers.

They had everything to do with people.

Because when you're young, friendships are not just friendships.

They're where you find belonging.

They're where you seek validation.

They're the people you celebrate with, cry with, and slowly build your identity around.

And that's what makes it so difficult when those relationships begin to change.

Sometimes, people drift apart.

Sometimes, misunderstandings remain unresolved.

Sometimes, you outgrow people.

And sometimes, despite loving someone deeply, you begin to realize that a friendship is leaving you feeling more exhausted than supported.

I think many of us have experienced that strange confusion.

How can someone you care about so much also be the reason you're losing sleep?

How can a friendship that once felt safe suddenly feel overwhelming?

How can you miss people who are still technically present in your life?

Maybe it's the friend who only reaches out when they need something.

Maybe it's constantly feeling like you're the one putting in all the effort.

Maybe it's walking away from conversations feeling drained instead of understood.

Or maybe it's the pressure of trying to fit in so desperately that somewhere along the way, you stop recognizing yourself.

And because friendships are often celebrated as one of the best parts of youth, admitting that they can affect our mental health sometimes feels uncomfortable.

We tell ourselves we're overreacting.

We convince ourselves that we're being too sensitive.

We stay silent because "they're my friends, I shouldn't feel this way."

But emotions don't disappear just because they feel inconvenient.

And loneliness doesn't always come from being alone.

Sometimes, it comes from feeling unseen among people you thought understood you.

Looking back, one of the most difficult lessons I had to learn was that not every friendship is meant to last forever.

And maybe that's okay.

Maybe growing up isn't about holding on to every person who enters our lives.

Maybe it's about appreciating the people who walk beside us, learning from those who don't, and understanding that outgrowing a friendship doesn't make either person a villain.

It simply makes us human.

Friendships can be one of the greatest sources of joy during our school and college years.

But they can also bring disappointment, confusion, and hurt. And acknowledging that doesn't make you ungrateful or dramatic.

Sometimes, taking care of our mental health means accepting that relationships evolve, setting boundaries where needed, and giving ourselves permission to grieve the connections that no longer feel the same.

Because growing up isn't just about finding people.

It's also about learning which relationships allow us to feel most like ourselves.