When One Partner Is Ready for Couples Therapy—And the Other Isn’t

Irshna Srivastava
May 26
3 min read

"What’s the point?"

"We’re fine, so what’s the need?"

"I'm not talking to a stranger about us."

"You go if you want. I don’t think I need it."

You’ve tried to talk it out. You’ve stayed up late crying, wondering how things got this distant. You believe couples therapy might help, but your partner? They shut it down before you even finish the sentence.

Sound familiar?

If you’ve ever felt like you’re carrying the entire emotional weight of your relationship alone, read ahead!

What Happens When One Partner Refuses Therapy

Relationships don’t fall apart all at once. Sometimes, they wear down slowly under unspoken hurts, misunderstood silences, and a growing sense of disconnect.

You may be ready to break that cycle. To work on things, to heal. But when one partner is ready for therapy and the other isn’t, it can feel like trying to dance with someone who won’t get up.

Why Your Partner Might Be Refusing Therapy?

Here’s what might be going on behind your partner’s refusal to go to therapy:

Stigma: Therapy in India is still seen as something only for people with "serious problems."
Fear of Blame: Some people believe therapy is about assigning fault, and they fear being singled out.
Lack of Awareness: Your partner may not understand how therapy can actually help the relationship.
Discomfort with Vulnerability: Opening up in front of a stranger about personal concerns can feel deeply uncomfortable.
Belief that Things aren't 'That Bad': Some partners genuinely don’t think the issues warrant therapy or might also believe that things are all fine.

Whatever the reason, it’s crucial to understand that they may have their reasons and approach the situation with empathy, not judgment.

So How to Convince Partner for Therapy?

You’re stuck between caring about your relationship and not wanting to push your reluctant spouse for therapy. Let’s get real with some practical steps:

Shift the Conversation
Instead of saying: "We need therapy or we’ll break up!"
Try: "I care about us, and I think talking to someone could really help us feel closer again." People don't like being told what to do but they do like feeling heard and supported.
Go Solo (for Now)
This part stings, but remember, you don’t need both people to start change.
Start your own sessions. Learn the tools. You’ll be amazed how much your mindset shifts, and sometimes, that shift can be contagious.
Share Resources
Sometimes people are hesitant because they don’t know what to expect. Share articles, testimonials, or videos about couples therapy in India. Make it easy for them to explore without pressure.
Offer Compromise
Maybe your partner isn’t ready for joint therapy but is open to attending a few sessions with you to see how it feels. You could also start with online couples therapy platforms, which feel more accessible, private, and can be done in the comfort of your home.

What If They Still Say No?

If your partner refuses therapy despite all your efforts, here's the truth no one likes to say out loud: You can’t force healing, but you can choose to grow.

Even if your partner won’t join, you can still work toward saving your marriage or relationship through your own clarity, boundaries, and growth.

When your partner won’t go to therapy, it’s easy to feel stuck. But here’s your reminder:

Growth doesn’t need a partner’s engagement. Healing starts with the person who’s ready.

You don’t have to carry this alone and you don’t have to give up either.

Start with you and watch what happens.